Mommy’s Gassy Bedtime Ritual

Sweetie… mommy’s just here to check on you…. oh honey! Why are you still awake? I tucked you in over an hour ago, you know we have a ton of things to do super early in the morning! Why are you not sleeping yet?

Oh… I see… Yes, I suppose mommy did forget a very important part of your bedtime ritual. I’ve just been so busy lately, it completely slipped my mind… but how could I ever forget something so important?

My sweet son could never fall asleep without his mommy’s farts before bed! That’s ok sweetie. Mommy is here now and she is very gassy too so I’m sure you will be sleeping good tonight! You just lay there while mommy straddles your face and rips her big farts right up your nose!